My sweet misses kisses, my sweet maya girl. I am so heartbroken and drowning in sorrow since you passed on. I remember the first day i saw you 5 years ago at a house party with the saddest eyes, in the most filthy terrible conditions and the worst skin infection ever, you were thin for your breed and you had the saddest eyes ive ever seen but when i called for you you cowered your way to me as if you were saying help me im so scared…eyes full of sorrow and fear but still you came to me….I knew i had to help you so i went back the next day to ask about getting you some help with your skin. Then they just said i could keep you and although i swore up and down i couldnt not keep you and would only watch you till you recovered and then i would find you a home, even though i convinced myself that you would be aggressive and i couldnt keep you because i already had 2 much smaller dogs and a cat….but i was completely wrong. Even though you went through so much abuse at the hands of humans you were are gentle as a flower,As sweet as honey with no mean bone in your body and you fit right in and i knew at that moment it was ment to be. Shoot actually i knew it from the first day i took you home, you responded to your new name right away as if you always knew that was your name as if it were already destined and maybe it was mama cause you gave me the BEST 5 years of my life. Ive never felt as loved and as special and as happy as i did with you, you were so loving so clingy so sweet and you brought me so much joy, i will miss you for the rest of my days and as i write this with sorrow in my heart and tears in my eyes i still feel gratitude, i thank you for allowing me love you and be in your life. I thank you for allowing me to be there with you in your final moments on earth and acting as if all was good and giving me the last cuddles you gave me in the morning cause i know you knew that loosing you while i was away was my greatest fear after you got sick, you knew i wanted to be there if you were to ever leave and you gave that to me. I was right there til your last breath and although it broke my soul, it brought me so much comfort to know that you took your last breath in my arms surrounded by all the love i have for you. I miss you so much maya and although i dont know if ill be able to keep going, i will try my best because of you. Because you taught me resilience and the will to keep going and keep loving no matter how cruel life is sometimes . Thank you for the lessons, the joys, for being my shoulder to lean on when no one else was, for loving me with no limits, for being the only one to be shaking with joy to see me, and showing me true patience and unconditional love , the purest love I’ve ever felt. I will miss you for the rest of my days my sweet misses kisses. Until we meet again my sweet maya, please try to come back to me, send me a sign or wait for me in heaven, i cant wait till we are together again
, love Mommy
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